


Take it out on me

by Alerta



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, This is my first fanfic and first writing in english so dont judge my grammar to much.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4883974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alerta/pseuds/Alerta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is from diferente perspective. Alder is simple rouge who got mixed up in dificult situation. He sees inquisitor and other members of this litlle  war (only he thinks its litlle) and NOW he tries to help after he...... :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning

It’s been hard to keep up with them all while his thoughts gone somewhere else he knew… The danger was behind him he was too scared to look… He knew… One look behind and he will be goner like many others that was behind him “You need to keep up”- shouted his older sister – “Those things just waiting then they will be able to pluck their teeth into your flesh”. Alder knew that and just smiled at Sophie arrogantly. “You know… then someone tells you to run faster you just does that because it means that your life depends on that. Or … maybe … you desire to become next food for darkspawn “.Krill teased his younger brother. Alder looked at him angrily. There also where Alder younger sister Elis… she screamed… because up the road there was endless of darkspawn and for the moment looked that there where no way through…. Alder wake up from another of his nightmares memories of the 5 blight still haunted him, he lost his family that day and became wanderer he took odd jobs as the rouge and spy that quickly applied him a name of Crow. He was on the road he couldn’t take the risk to stay in one place to long because for what he did was information at stake his contact where to meet him at nearby tavern but for the night he camped at the nearby forest “Can’t be too careful you need to face a new day with a bright rested head if it’s even possible “ he said his thoughts “ Well if I can’t sleep it’s best to head out” … Alder packed his camp and headed towards camp he hated roads it gave him feeling that he could be any moment ambushed he hated dark forest because still imagine dark figure with red claws bloody mouth and eyes that only saw him as prey that must be hunted. He smiled and told to himself “Always on the guard… Thinking that worst things might happen… Again. ”… “Well tavern wasn’t far away” he smiled again, opened the door and came in found some stools to sit and looked through jobs the tavern keeper had on his board. “So you have it Crow?” – asked the asked the man with a hood. “Yeah… What’s of it for me?”  
“Hand it other… then we will speak of your reward boy”. Alder looked at him…He knew it’s a bad idea, he barely knew this man and information might be valuable (He never looks at information he takes he just steals Alder not really spy just a great thief). But he done otherwise anyway, ha handed package to him “Don’t make me regret this or I will-“ he felt hit from behind and felt on the ground the innkeeper hilt him  
At that moment he understood that this was ambush. People kicked him for awhile and left him there. Then he felt strange warm he struggled to get up… The tavern was burning…

Alder hoped from roof and sneaked into some important leaders of that squad room he started searching for the box described in the note. The box had some strange eye with sword and tentacles. He didn’t care who that box had belonged he just wanted to get his reward… Nice sum was waiting for him. He run away from that place through roofs and shadows. He knew if he gets caught that will be the end of him he heard story’s and rumors of ruthless Nightingale that was resting in that place… Alder looked at the sky and in one moment the sky toured open in green light and exploded waking everyone “ It’s high time I am making my leave “ whispered silently Alder. “No need to tangle myself in this damn mess”.

Cassandra stormed in to Lellianas post shouting at her about the missing box. She as always where calm and looked at Cassandra “There was nothing at the box I knew someone will be trying to take advantage over us trying to ruin us” She manage to calm the Seeker. Cassandra responded “You always looking far in the future”. “Someone has to do that and I noticed something fun about our little theft the one that did that was Crow” “The one Crow that never looks at his package” “The same, I will start looking for him I don’t think he knows in what mess that little bird got himself into” “Well then it’s time to show him the error of his way”- stepped out of the shadow Cullen. And then green blast in the sky… Loud noise and explosion.  
… Shit the tavern is burning. What to do what to do exit is blocked. It seems like Alders look has runned out the burning wood from the roof has fallen on his foot probably breaking it. There was no way out then he felt slipping cursing this day and his contract he lost his consciousness again… Memories and happy days with his family then he stood defending Elis from other kid how Sophie and Krill teased him that he would defend anything. He was like that then he was kid always defending everyone… Things had changed… His life had changed… And then he wake up cuffing from the smoke while some soldiers looked at him there where only two not templar’s neither mages their uniforms that sign on them … SHIT!! RUN! He tried to hit one but his leg was hurt… broken badly so he felt down again. I need to think of something Alder thought and then one soldier tried to restrain him “I know this one Its Crow Nightingale ordered t restrain him!!” Shouted one of the soldiers “Look what fame does to you?!” Joked Alder, he was tall had dark brown short hair and hadn’t been shaving in some days he was muscular and strong for the rouge smart to. “Its easy to remember you till you don’t change your look” Alder just been waiting till guard will lover his guard and lean near him. He quickly jumped from the ground using his arms and hit first guard the second lost his balance and dropped to the from the surprise then tried to stand up and pull his sword out but Alder was already on his feet barely standing and as he tried to take his knife from the back the rift opened in front of him with a blast… Well for one thing it served as perfect distraction that gave him time to get away the other thing was that, that then monsters stopped toying with soldiers they went out looking for him he can’t run so that made him easy prey he need to get away from her but where he can’t run but he can’t hide here forever. Alder closed his eyes to think “What to do? What to do ?” He panicked but in his eyes again the same picture he’s running from the darkspawn then they are killing of his family and he can’t do anything others protected him that day and he was hiding like stray puppy. Strangely this picture gave him strength and fury. He pulled out his knives and prepared for battle. He looked at the rift now with his eyes burning with furry “That’s it I am quitting running away I will fight no matter what happens next!!!” He shouted taking attention of the damn demon. His leg was hurt so he couldn’t run away. The monster come at him with claws bloodied and jaws open for more Alder stood bravely gazing at demons eyes and throwing one knife at him apparently that creature was to slow to avoid his knife that pierced its skull. Then from smother dwarf and elf appeared. Dwarf was enjoying this then he shooted his crossbow. The elf was quiet – to quiet only spies or well trained could do that to stay in this messy situation and stay as quiet like that- no emotions. Then again something hit Alder from behind he felt sharp claws on his skin he tough it was over for him for sure… He heard something shouting out for him… It was dwarf…

“Damn it” – he whispered and raised his head he was on the ground in the building… Chained. “How the hell that happened” he shook his head that still was hurting after the last hit, his leg for a change was looked after (it was wrapped in warm bandage). Someone’s silhouette showed through the prison doors. There was woman dressed in grey with hood on her head but you could almost clearly see her face it was… it was… No way Nightingale now he’s in for good… Alder closed his eyes briefly then opened and looked at her bravely with courage but deep inside he was scared he knew what this woman could do. “So here I am standing in front of famous or infamous Crow the spy the thief … The one that stole from my organization and didn’t knew that that was my trap all along” she smiled and looked at him calmly. Alder couldn’t stand it he jumped, later regretting it, and shouted “So those thugs that was your doing! You send them” rage and anger burst out of him. She again calmly said “No” and smiled he was angry at her nut suddenly he fell to the ground his leg was aching. She then spoke “They say that you smart never looking at what you carrying never asking to many questions never stepping out of your shadow… But I think you are one of the most stupid persons I ever met” He glanced at her his eyes was full of pain he couldn’t lie or hide that pain… his leg was broken. Nightingale continued “You didn’t care from whom you stole-“ “I knew-“ he said silently “I knew it was from you “ repeated louder, she continued “very well you knew from who but you didn’t knew what and why. And in that entire ruckus they manage to trick you and nearly killed you. Why?” Alder felt her look… that she was asking his response. He glanced at her with ignorant smile “You want to know now?” He said in provoking tone… But nothing had come from that Nightingale she still was calm and looking at him. Alder was stubborn and didn’t tell her anything else just that one line before. He turned his gaze to the wall just sitting there. Nightingale left and he felt like he could breathe again….

…”He is awake now isn’t he “asked Cassandra “and stubborn… But I will manage to break him” said Lelliana “We need to find those people who hired Crow! They might be responsible for the torn sky and...” 

… “I should have told her… Damn it, but what’s next telling my life story to damn wolfs!” he glance at his fist and then hitted the wall with it. He was angry with everything but then he started to think about his chance to escape with his damn leg… shit that’s nearly impossible unless he would start to dig the hole with spoon “I think everyone would notice that” he laughed at that idea then the shadow started striping someone started coming for the visit considering that he was the only prisoner that visitor might happen to visit him. There was young beautiful woman with golden hair blue eyes and two handed sword on her back but something was odd about her…Next to her were standing a man almost as tall as the woman next to him he was wearing uniform and holding his hand on the hilt of the sword his eyes were light brown and his hear was light. Alder glance at them and said with smile “So now even couples are visiting me?” The man blushed slightly woman was standing still showing no emotion “We are her to question you” said the woman “go to hell” responded Alder and turn his gaze down the man in armor came closer to the gates “You will address the Herald with respect prisoner!” he said with angry tone “Cullen we need cooperation not another argument!” “I… understand… Evelyn” said the man. Alder look again angrily at them and said quietly “What if I don’t want to cooperate?” Evelyn took a look at him and said “Do you have a choice? We are giving you a chance…” “Ok I understand I will help you all I can” “finally some progress” – now talk said Cullen impatiently. Alder said with pain in his voice and regret “I stole from you… I admit that but next when I runned away from here people I worked with betrayed me and tried to kill me…-“Evelyn looked at him and asked softly, her voice was calming and beautiful “Did you knew those people?”. Alder at the first time looked at her kindly “No that was part of my work I never asked to many questions and that was my mistake, Nightingale mentioned that” he smiled while was telling part about Nightingale. Cullen looked at him angry and disappointed then with rage “You are spy thief can we trust you? NO Do we know you are telling the truth? NO” He came closer to the cell “But you have to trust me I don’t know them I never did!”  
Alder was yelling at Cullen his coldness dropped his tone changed but when he saw that nothing can get through him he turned his gaze from him and told them both “I know you don’t want to trust me I know you think I am lying I know you know who I am but I AM SORRY !” Alder felt sadness for the first time in a long. Evelyn was the woman’s name he felt her look at him he knew that something was odd about her and her left arm was always behind her back why? And that thing about the Herald that that men was shouting? “Release him he’s telling the truth” said Evelyn Cullen nodded and looked at the prisoner. opened the gates and walked in Alders cell to help him stand up also told him “One mistake or if I see you hurting her I WILL KILL YOU!” “Ok Romeo I got it” sarcastically replied Alder.  
He finally was outside the sun was shining but not that caught Alders gaze there was hole in the sky literally. “So in what exact mess I got myself into?” “you II see soon enough when you’re leg will be looked after. I don’t think it’s broken and you II be joining our fight soon enough” Elf appeared the same calm asshole that was there with dwarf “My name is Solas, we already met” “Alder”. So his leg isn’t broken after all just hurt, well that’s a relief “Wait you mention the fight what fight. I didn’t agreed to anything yet” “So you forgot that line ‘I will help you all I can’ “Cullen said sarcastically “Then there was no mention of a giant hole in the sky”. Everyone was laughing at him he felt anger later relief and joined them. At that moment dwarf appeared the same dwarf that was fighting a long side with elf “Well, well looks like sleeping beauty finally awake?” “I am not sleeping beauty-“Alder declined a bit to late “My name is Varric Tethrass” “ The writer? It seems like you have quiet company” Alder glanced at Evelyn, he knew something was odd about her but didn’t asked her what’s that (didn’t want to insult her bodyguard). “Its best if I get acquainted with space I think I II be staying her for a while” he smiled and took a glance at people who were gathered her. It was a nice day despite that he still felt commander looking distrustfully at him.


	2. And this is about past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serra pranks Alder and it leads to the talk about his past....

“Hey. You!!! Are you going to train or stand near the wall all day?!” Commander shouted to Alder. “I am rouge! Not some knight with sword and shield!” – Alder was annoyed how everyone else was treating him, after all he brought this on himself – he stole from them. But what’s the matter the box was empty, he didn’t take any- . His thought was broken by sudden movement…. Strong arm garbed his coat and commander was looking straight to his eyes “YOU WILL DO AS I SAID!.... Now move with others to train.” Alder looked at him, gasping for air” I already told you I am-““I don’t care who you are go and train with others. I now see why Lelliana didn’t take you to train with spies…. You are unruly asshole, who acts as he likes and doesn’t looks after others” Cullen let Alder go still looking at him, as he took shield and sword “happy now !” Alder said with anger and irony. Now the unruly one was training with others he hated this. His sparring partner looked at him with crooked smile while he was thrown down… maybe tenth time “Well well look at yourself” laughed “You always going down so easily !!” “You know me Tray… I prefer my daggers!” this time Alder laughed at his friend “All too well, Alder, you keep reminding me that.”  
Two friends were laughing and then Herald shoved up near them “Having fun?” she said with smile. Alder and Tray were supposed to greet her. Tray succeeded at this task while Alder by trying to stand up fell down again and made her laugh “I thought rouges where supposed to be well… Not that clumsy” – he started blushing at hers words. She laughed again and that. Of course draw commander’s attention. He looked down at Alder and started yelling at him again, but this time was not about him being lazy and all that but because he was clumsy. Tray tried to explain commander what happened but some of his anger got to him to. Damn he even assigned them on night watch (as punishment) for two weeks. “You know you are tyrant?”- said the herald Alder raised his eyes at her… she of all people were trying to help them? “Recruits needed to know their place!” complained commander “That one” – he showed at Alder “Is one big troublemaker.” Then whispered to Herald “and even stole from us” he complained. Alder knew why he was in the center of their talks all too well he looked down at the ground didn’t complain. The argument was finished if that was the argument and training continued. He often spared with Tray that man was like brother to him in short time they had become good friends he knew all about him and Alder knew all about him. Alder even told him what happened to his family and how he become the rouge. Tray was nobleman’s son who run away for no reason at all. He winded up at the inquisition after sky exploded and turned green part of it anyway. Commander Cullen was ranting on recruits again Alder whispered Tray trying to avoid unwanted attention while training “Why can’t he ease up a bit? Like with the Herald… well… you saw them… right?” “You know he needs to put up appearance of commander and for you” Tray smiled “he mistrusts you” “I know that right… that was mistake I intend not to repeat!” Alder glanced at Tray he was good friend capable of understanding Alder and his mistake that almost cost him his life….  
After training there was night watch Alder hated it the night always seemed like the one… the air seemed thin and frozen time was going slowly Alder tried to breathe evenly but he couldn’t he hated night it was his fear. His arms were shaking so he tried to hide it Tray was in different spot “Commander Cullen’s orders” he grinned at commanders tent were there was still light. Alder was standing in one spot well he himself didn’t noticed that but spymaster Nightingale noticed that and came near him “Shouldn’t you be walking…. and checking for intruders” she said calmly and glanced at him with cold eyes… damn she was scary Alder though but why does she sound so friendly well probably because she is spy and this is one of her tricks of getting information she wants. “Well… you see… my…lady…um” his voice was shaking and he was unable to control it “No way” she smiled “ Am I meeting the first rouge who is afraid of dark” she smiled and tried to hold back her laugh “but why I wonder ? I will talk to commander about dispatching you only during the day Alder it must be difficult for you not to run away and search for the light and open spot” “I am not looking for light and… Whatever well if you go to commander he will rant at me again he always does!” he said lowering his voice and looking to the ground. “I don’t think he will be ranting… but spare me the story why you are… well you know. And that little thing makes you unique you only took stuff during the day so no one caught you during the night. That’s why you were good Crow” “probably” Alder still looked at the ground but now he smiled “No one suspected a thing” he started to chuckle. Lelliana left as quietly as she came he still was standing at his post trying now to move around a bit.... He needed to work even a bit. The time still felt frozen he still could square that something was moving around he knew it was just his imagination stupid echoes of the past he hated, he closed his eyes... When he was ten the fifth blight hit and he with his family was in the middle mother and father were trying to protect them but when he turned his gaze back he saw... he saw... his thought was blown away again as Sera one of the new Herald companions stood near him trying to prank on commander again he admired the idea but he knew that later there will be ranting and shouting at recruits also at him for not stopping her. „ What you think you’re doing little miss? “ He asked teasing Sera looked back““Ah…nothing…. Just the prank on big people… ranting one” she laughed at her strange manner “Don’t you think he will be ranting even more after this” Alder tried to explain her but “Then you will get what’s” coming a cold water splashed at him from Sera’s bucked she laughed and runned away from him mocking “shit… shit!! Get back her you little….!!” He shouted at her runned after for awhile while she was lost somewhere in the dark I will get you in the day he thought and while he was trying to return back to his post a dirt came at him “SERA!!”he shouted and manage to wake up the Herald “It’s now on your head” she laughed at her hysterical laugh and run away. Damn it shit damn it all now hes into this and that little elf… damn it “would anyone explain me what’s going on in the name of- “ she took a look at patrolling soldier and giggled then laughed. Alder was wet and cold and covered in mud. Soon commander was here does he ever sleep – Alder though “What’s going on” – he said trying to keep his voice but once he saw Alder he burst out laughing “What…. Happ-ened to…. you soldier?” said through giggles. Through feeling ice cold mountain air he said only one word “Sera…-“ he tried to explain truly but cold got the best of him and his fear of course there were to many eyes Alder closed his eyes and lowered his head to try and not show his fear of dark and this all attention it reminded him to… much… of “commander I was on my way to you to explain that this soldier….” she didn’t laughed Lelliana didn’t laughed at him he didn’t looked up he only heard her voice and the touch on his arm wake him he shaked the hand of breathed rapidly with fear commander and some others like blackwall looked at him he was shaking from cold and fear he calmed himself a bit and looked at who were to try and reach out at him it was Herald “you are cold” said Lelliana “and afraid, I founded out something about your past your family where killed when you were ten you were witness…” “by whom who did this?” commander looked at Lelliana eagerly and at Alder… Alder shook his head “ It was darkspawn” he breathe in and breathed out Lelliana continued “ It was during the night and his family trying to escape runned into them there were no chance he was sole survivor washed up y the river near Redcliffe … You never had a chance to save them what happened” Alder was ready t shout that they don’t know him that he was always alone and wished to remain this way but again looking at Heralds eyes he felt softness and sympathies like in home long ago then he hit his arm then falling of the tree or trying no to get caught by pet mabari the same kindness the parents showed the same look that Elis had. He started speaking with no anger or shouting calmly as much as he could do it calmly commander helped him sit on the bench he was still shivering from cold and fear “I grow up in farm in south with parents and siblings we had this big farm that everyone of us had to help to maintain we ha this dog mabari named Grouger …” he smiled at happy memory “He was the one to wake us up before darkspawn hit…Grouger was the one that woke us all up when I woke up I saw how darkspawn come and they … they ripped my dog apart I was scared my father told us to run so we did then we ended up in the forest damn forest full of… them” he shook his head and continued inquisitor at down near him and held his arm while he talked like with a child to calm him down “We got separated I went with my parents and then… then…” he gasped for air “the darkspawn attacked there were so many of them my dad told me to run as I did but when I looked back I saw…” he stopped talking at this point and placed his hand on his face trying to put distance between memory. Still the Herald looked at him and tried to comfort him “You don’t have to continue this” replied man with beard his voice was calm and he looked like he was trying to comfort him “I know how dangerous the darkspawn could get” Ahhhh. It was the warden Blackwall he now remembers him “But this doesn’t explain how did you get in the river?” asked commander Cullen Herald immediately gave him the look “that’s ok I can try and explain well after… that I manage to catch up with my siblings: Krill Sophie and… and Elis we were trying to get away but those things ambushed there were river near our right but it was deep down while we were thinking of what to do next and how to use this place as our advantage Krill got snapped from us and… and… Sophie tried to help him I was there to… I was trying… but…. But Elis snapped my hand… and… and throw me in the river. One moment I was drowning and other I was somewhere in war place” “That explains all Cullen” Herald asked with a tone that would give a lion a thinking if this opponent is worth attacking “yes I think… it does” he looked at her with a sorry look and then helped Alder to get to the barracks he could hear him say sorry but maybe he was just a sleep….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always sorry for the grammar till next time :D


	3. The day for assignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is new chapter I promise you alitle bit of dragon fight here A LITLLES BIT NOT MUCH NOT ALL YOU LL SEE.

….”You, little elf!!!!” Alder was shouting when he was chasing Sera. She, again, played a prank at him. This time she threew rotten eggs at him. “Now I got you... you...little“he was catching his breath and slowly moved towards her. She was cornered nowhere to go unless she would grow a wings “wait at it we need t talk” she said it while backing to the wall hands rose in defensive position. “Yeah I want anything but talk to you…. About yesterday…”- he was angry, and slowly… slowly moved towards her “…and really about today… and this mess”. She reached the wall looking at him with her big eyes pleading for mercy “Yeah… sorry about all mess… but yeah pranks… this just pranks… you not really angry”. He stepped even closer to her when…. “What are you two doing here!!??” from back came Evelyn Trevelyan’s voice. Alder immediately stepped down and looked at her “well you’ boss is here better get back to work’ or Cully will be angry!” she looked at him teasing. Shit damn it….what to do… he wanted to punch that elf so badly but Herald was here he couldn’t do anything to her… Tray was right about this and Sera. He looked at Herald and “I-I can explain… well the thing is…” “Sera are you again picking on him?” – She looked at Alder covered in rotten eggs, and it looked like she smiled at him… Damn it she looked like Elis, so he just stood there like a fool “Keep it down Sera we soon be leaving and he will accompany our team in this travel” “w-w-wait what?”- Alder stood there like a fool, he must have misheard that – “You’re coming with us in Hinterlands! Go change your clothes I will inform commander that you were attacked while on duty and we will be leaving in hour”. He went to the barracks to change and took some equipment mostly knives throwing and two attacking his favorite style of fighting”   
……  
After few days of traveling 

…After some fighting have been done he was assign in former bandit camp near some strange alley that wasn’t inspected yet soldiers were waiting for inquisitor and her party. That’s at least what he been told Tray was stationed there not long time ago, before his arrival. So Alder with little group of soldiers moved through road to the camp… They were near the place then he heard ruckus… Something happened. H came closer and herd two soldiers talking about dragon circling and that some soldiers went ahead to investigate that alley… They hadn’t yet returned. When one soldier approached newly arrived group and spoken his line and assignments Alder looked him dead in the eye and asked “There were soldier stationed her Tray Halloran?” “Yes he was here…but” soldier turned his gaze to the alley “they hasn’t returned yet” and looked sympathetically at Alder. He turned his gaze at the alley to… there was one thing to do dragon or no dragon he had to help his friend others looked at him what will he do… but… then… he rushed ahead other soldiers tried to stop him but he was to quick soldier training plus he was rouge… he was fester than anyone in that camp well except for sera if she were her he… again would be left in fools place. He rushed to the alley there were no one chasing him from behind… they were scared? For wha- - that thought was interrupted by roaring sound and falling rocks. He looked and saw dragon circling “Now I am in for it “- he said to himself, and as quietly as he could he walked the through this damn alley. This is damn nest there were dragonlings - he examined the area while hiding betven some burned down carts- shit how to pass by them… he didn’t have time to think… it looks like dragon already chose what would she like to eat for lunch. Alder immediately dodge fireball and attracted attention from those damn little beast… they were getting closer then he raised his head to the sky smiled “ Well then…ITS TIME TO FIGHT!” he shouted at dragonlings pulled out his daggers and stood waited then they will make there move ut it looks like dragon was determined to make her lunch roasted and threw another fireball at him. Then dragonlings attacked him… he fought and fought one after another when he slit last ones throat he looked up at the sky dragon was gone further into alley… Maybe she thought I will become dragonlings food so easily?- Alder thought to himself. He breathed in and out calming himself down looked down at his leg one of beast got him good his leg was hurt pretty badly he could he will not be able to run like this if even his life would depend on it. “Well then no one will be coming? He looked back he knew others will be to scared to make an attempt to save him or that damn party that ventured forth he is the only one willing to take this damn risk. His leg was still bleeding he wasn’t ready to fight damn dragon so he already was out of healing potions how many dragonlings he had killed… a few dozen maybe more, not to mention constant fire attacks at him not only from that dragon circling at least now its calm so he leaned over the stone and started walking not limping more likelly. Alder was wenturing forth to the alley slovly looking for soldiers what he saw... it was... they all... they were.... they were burned alive no one could have gotten this faith his friend was one of him he recognized his sword it was clenched in his arms. After all this time he thought that he finaly found a friend but now that friend was taken away by the damn dragon. Again dragon roar rised and he looked up with challenging and angry look “If I am going to die today …” – he said looking down quietly then he roused his head ”IT WILL NOT BE IN TEROR!!!!” he shouted at the sky dragon roar accompanying him.  
……  
“What happened here? Why everyone so …?” she didn’t finish her sentence. Iron Bull looked at everyone “Everyone so smug and desperate?”. Evelyn glanced at him with reassuring look and asked soldier what happened… Next minute she was running through alley hearing dragon roar “So shite… that twat Alder realy go here?” Sera asked her “Yes he’s gone here now you happy… can we hurry?” Evelyn replied looking at her with that look that lion would go down to hide between rocks Solas was calm and Iron Bull was exciting whispering to himself dragon….dragon…. Then Solas stopped and looked at the ground there were dragonlings someone had killed them sliced them almost to bits. Other mark of lod indicated that this someone was injured in this furious battle the trail of blod was leading deeper in to the walleye then they saw… the same eyes soaring view as Alder did “That must have set that boy on edge… he can be really soft at times…” Bull sighed “we should be able to find him still if he’s haven’t done anything stupid” “Yeah” Evelyn replied and at that moment they heard dragon landing on the ground that could mean only one thing they needed to hurry if they want to save this sole survivor …. “Solas prepare your healing spell… Sera attack from behind, and Bull you and I will be attacking front we can take much more damage!” she shouted orders at him and runed forward to the sound.  
He was shaking his arms was shaking it could have been from loss of blood or eagerness to fight. He was prepared and glance at beast eyes with rage. The fire burned at his eyes indicating that he will not go down easily he took his knives stood at defensive position ready to dodge anything and emeadetly attack if his leg allows it dragon took of and landed near him he dodge her leg and turned to attack but then his leg… damn that leg he felt to the ground she released fire ball at him again alost hiting him but he manage some how to roll away from it and again stood and prepare for another attack- ok direct attack is not an option I need her closer I need to…- he looked down her back it was foolish and reckless plan but he knew it might work… she again landed and tried to hit him with her leg he allowed it and then regretted it because felt that his rib might be broken he holded onto beast leg tight trying to climb up her back and attack her head without direct contact with her mouth. The dragon took of and he didn’t manage to get a good grip on her back he fell down grabing his right side it hurted… so… much   
“Hey you… Alder wake up” he was in the farm paying with Elis well at least before they got a nap. Krill took a bucket with cold water and throw it at him “I told you to wake up you didn’t listened” he loughed at his little brother then he rouse all wet. Alder wanted to kill him for that “You know that I can beat you up again easily”  
“Alder wake up” he heard that voice again but it wasn’t Sophie’s or Elis after all Elis didn’t even speak not sure why “You need to wake up… S…move…him” he heard someone’s voice fading. At that moment he was happy again in the farm with his siblings and that warmth he felt so long ago…… Wait there… were a fight… they all…. This is damn dream… he needs to wake up “Dragon down!” he heard loud voice and finally after some time he was waking up in the reality the bald elf by name of Solas sited next to him his arms green… healing magic? … oh yeah dragon… fight… fall. He passd out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know grammar but I am getting at that :D


	4. Some time to breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a bit walk from action and then well read to the and ending is the best :D

“…Finally….This…woke up!” clearly this was an insult. Alder tried to bring hand to his eyes but sudden pain in his right side stopped him. “Damn…it” he said weary. “Hey you loud one…. I have peace offering to you!” – Alder turned his weary eyes at the voice…it was Sera… Wait loud one? How comes? “Listen doggy eyes… no more pranks…on you at least”… “Agreed…“ Alder said weary his voice was weak… that damn dragon… he was about to pass out again “Hey you healer he’s about to pass out again?” she said chuckling…. Next he remembers shouting outside. People were arguing he heard familiar voices seeker and nonetheless Evelyn You know it was reckless… I don’t care while people life’s depends on that…. You know you can’t risk you’re life over reckless soldier… I know but that was sensible thing to do….He heard them his head heavy pounding and near him elf sat. Well that guy Solas he was looking outside and when he felt Alders look at him he glanced at him with his empty sad look that didn’t bring comfort only regret – “I see you awake… but still barely… we had to keep Cassandra away from you she would try to get full explanation from you on what happened here… other soldiers were awfully quiet” Alder glanced at him one more time and shoot his eyes – damn it that woman she will not make easy talk it’s even better to listen to commanders orders… Alder drifted back to sleep.  
Next morning Cassandra barged in that tent “I DEMAND EXPLANATION ABOU THAT DRAGON!!!” “Keep it down I can hear you perfectly” Alder answered calmly while sitting and holding on his right side his ribs where still aching and that gave him unpleasant headache. “YOU WILL NOT LOUGH AT ME!!!!” she shouted at him still – Alder was gripping on his nose bridge trying to ease headache “Calm down chuckle can’t you see the boy still in no shape to argue with you” Varric voice reached his ears. Probable they were sent to aid Herald after dragon fight and to change wounded or only drop by for report on this fight. Alder raised his head “where’s Herald?” “Already gone on other mission chuckle… Well… Now would you explain this…” trough laughter Varric asked “…Why did you run of to fight this dragon there are lots of them in Ferelden… If you’re wiling to look?!! “ Varric couldn’t stop laughing at his own words but seeker gave him unpleasant look and gave him asking look “If there was any chance I could have saved them I needed to take it” Alder glanced at sword he had recovered “ His family needs to be informed”- He looked at Cassandra and gave her look that Sera referred to as doggy. She nodded and glanced at Varric “You’re kind kid… I still wonder a lot how did you become rouge and thief? But now I am glad you’re here we given you a chance to change you’re road” he nodded to himself and still was chuckling “of all the damn dragons he chose this one… Its definitely going in to my next book” Alder smiled at dwarven rouge who left tent and glanced back at seeker… She’s always so serious “He’s right you know we given you a chance to change and now you’re proving worthy of that chance “ “thank you” Alder winced he was sitting to long he still needs to recover. “you better rest there’s long road ahead of us all”- she left tent…  
After some time of resting Alder was again back at haven this time commander was even angrier during trainings… Well he probably thinked what would Herald chose to support Templar’s or Mages. He was angry probably restless (this question was debates took a long time even Lelliana looked tired) and now he evn took Iron bull as his helper in this training and of course who should be their show “puppet” well you don’t have to ask the one who head to head attacked dragon and made some severe damage to him. Alder was standing with his shield in the hand preparing to defend himself and If things really got out of hand jump back a bit. Bull rushed at him he blocked with his shield covering his face and standing with his left side that right would be open if he needed to attack (in real fight anyway), then he jumped back a bit he couldn’t hold out Bulls pressure at him and then he was standing again bull rushed at him again with more power… why the hell… this was sparing… not a fucking game break every fucking bone in your opponent. Alder was on the ground Bull laughed and gave him a hand “sorry boy I overdid myself” he took his hand and manage to stand up “What you’re planning to do with Alder again? I hope you two are not preparing him to fight a damn dragon again?” Herald came laughing it was so often her laughter you could hear it so often Alder glanced at Bull “I hope not that one was enough for me” and smiled he didn’t smiled often you could see Alder serious angry but rarely smiling. Bull smiled and patted him on his back he almost fell to the ground again “You faced one you could face another just a bit of shield work and you will be like me” “I prefer my soldiers without horns!” Now commander was laughing. It almost always ended like that Herald – Evelyn brought good spirits around people made them smile even if sky was torn open. She was kind her eyes warm. “No offence Bull” commander said laughing. At that rare moment everyone was happy again like the sky was never scared like there were no difference among people mages templar’s everyone as one. But no matter laughter it was empty his friend – brother, Tray was gone that damn beast, maybe Iron Bull is right I might go to hunt dragons next time with him and his team. Evelyn noticed Alders look at the sky, pat at his arm “I know how you fell Alder” she of all people always were here to help him out no matter how bad the situation is or not bad it’s just as she fells others around her always trying to help. They all were looking at him; he was looking back not knowing what to say. He didn’t it was just… there had to be something… “Come kid we still haven’t finished our training!” Bull said eagerly and throws him a shield again “Play nice kids!” Evelyn laughed and left training grounds it was good to be back at Haven… But then goose runed through the grounds commander glanced at it and shook his head silently came words from him “Sera” then loud sound came “WHO LET THE DAMN GOOSE LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next more action probably will come


	5. Long before the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be long

“Damn it! Who let him die!?” Young woman run into Haven shouting “Calm down…. Tell me what you are talking about?” calmly Evelyn Trevelyan interrupted women’s shouting “I am Allis Sorterena… Tray’s sister” those words peaked Alder’s interest he turned to look at the women in her eyes he saw sorrow and anger “No one let him die… we tried to save Tray and his scouting group… but the dragon…” “I got there to late… “Alder interrupted talk “I tried…but…” he looked at the woman then heard Heralds voice “Alder… How many times I need to remind you… that wasn’t you’re fault … No one knew that there in that valley will be damn dragon… Don’t blame you’re self!” Herald glanced at him. But the woman looked at him unpleasantly and then “So this was your fault you sent him there!!!!” she shouted at Herald “That’s not her fault… Its mine fault I should have gotten there sooner!!!” Alder shouted at her bursting in anger the woman glanced at him with open eyes full of anger. Alder looked at her… straight in the angry eyes well he also admired woman she was beautiful blond hair much different from Tray’s dirt back. She was pleasant for the eye the woman like from some dream (much like Evelyn Trevelyan just Evelyn eyes were light green and Allis were brown. Evelyn also looked stronger and of course showed great interest in commander Cullen well rumors anyway)…. Ah yeah straight into brown angry eyes and spoke “I was Trays friend… He was the only one who could understood me” Alder lowered his look to the ground like he committed some crime. Woman came near him looked him over with that angry grin on her face and spoke silently “You… You were his friend… and you left him behind” . She shook her head Alder looked at her again and then she raised her hand… and then she hit him in the face… He walked back a little bit and glance at the woman just without anger only with sympathy, he couldn’t be angry… he almost knew the feeling… That feeling. He turned to walk away turning his back to woman and shocked Herald he glance slightly from his back at Allis again “I am sorry”. Alder started to walk away when scout appeared and spoke ” Lieutenant… Commander wanted to speak with you!” “Understood… Lead the way” Alder followed after scout to the tent. After some weeks he was raised in rank from merely a recruit after killing that damn dragon he was raised into lieutenant (probably herald had word into this to). Now he was following recruit to generate new attack plan on bandits or demons? Or train new recruits? Or damn he didn’t knew after thief named Crow well his past was forgotten and his future seemed more clearer for now do his job and do it good well Tray helped a lot he wanted this well this only fair that this happened he got to be someone else.  
Alder entered tent map was lay down. When all lieutenants gathered Cullen started to speak “ We need to build watchtowers in the Hinterlands if we want any aid from horse master ...” Commander looked over next report also “Some soldiers went missing in Fallow mire… We still don’t know what happened there…and then there are some supplies we need to take over from the blades of Hessarian… they want to give it to Herald” then commander looked over his man and said “ Harding can you get to meet Blades and Rylen go get some man in the Hinterlands Alder you will need to go to Fallow Mire and search for soldiers take small company or not at all scout the place and if the situation gets troublesome or looks troublesome send bird for help” “Understood” Lieutenants (well Harding were scout but still trusted a lot by every inquisition leader) went to do the jobs assign to them.  
Alder was packing things needed but with some account to it because he needed to be quick and large bag only or to many things would slow him down. Woman…Allis walked in and looked at him “If you need to speak to me I advise you do it now … I don’t have much time” he didn’t raised his eyes kept packing things or pretending to do it he didn’t need to look at her. “I well… “ she hesitated to talk “Herald told me everything what happened there… You… only you were trying to save him… You were his friend…” “Tray was like brother to me… I always looked up at him… He understood me while others turned they backs on me and judge me… I never mean to be… this… Tray wanted to be …” he lowered his head his eyes closing his hands turning into fists. Allis walked near him and place her hand on his shoulder Alder flinched and looked at her Allis eyes were warm and sympathetic “ I am sorry… I shouldn’t have…” “Don’t apologize I am used to be hit in the face” he looked at her serious expression her brows furrowed and then Alder started laughing at her serious expression and turned towards the door walking “See you later Allis … I hope you are staying ?” he asked “ see you… um…well” “Alder my name is Alder” Allis looked at him amused “Like a tree?” “Well that’s beautiful tree.. I like it… my parents liked it and gave me this name.” Alder explained smiling and turned to walk away “Yes I am staying” she said to him as he walked away. He was smiling… why he didn’t knew why he just were…  
Fallow mire  
Alder didn’t want to risk anymore soldiers so he came alone in the very wet and dangerous land. This place seen enough death, the water, if you touch it dead would rise to devour the living, be it human or animal. Don’t touch damn water, he kept saying to himself trying to stay on the ground and stay in the shadow he saw something moving in the corner turned his head and only saw the shadow perhaps of human or animal he wasn’t certain if it was human his cover of shadow would be lost and hiding were no longer necessary he send his bird just in case, to the first camp he helped establish some scouts and soldiers were there. In the note he gave some directions to the old fort he was near yesterday he heard some noises he didn’t liked and thought he would send word just in case. Well that was good idea because that shadow… it wasn’t animal well it was human’s barbarians or something they stood around him lie they knew where he was.”Human stop hiding we know you here!” big guy shouted. Good they don’t know where he is… and wait human? What, they are not humans? What are they? “oh stop ranting it will be easier to kill him if he didn’t show himself we will get a chance to chase him around a bit” other but smaller spoke. The hell with it they are hostile no matter what they its better to take some down now if they want to kill me I will make them work for it – thought Alder. He trailed shadow till he reached one of barbarians back pull his dagger and slit that things throat… well he was bleeding he was killable other turned attention on that teammate and tried to see through shadows good thing Mire was dark and spooky. Yea spooky Alder intentionally stepped into the water he took advantage of situation he was in and saw dead rising from barbarians shouted at the dead something incomprehensible and turned to attack them. Alder knew that dead could smell him but he stayed hidden and waited seeing as some barbarians went down only 5 were left standing including the big guy to “ Well human you are smart… but.. Now…FACE ME AS A MAN!!!!” “As you wish” Alder stepped from shadow his posture aggressive and he prepared for battle. Not with daggers but with two swords in his hands he was learning to use them better “You all alone human but you mange to cause so much damage already” Alder looked at him intensely he couldn’t let his guard down even a minute he was alone against five. He started walking near barbarians as they drew and shoot arrows at him he used his swords like master and blocked down arrows that flew to him. He still was walking as barbarians started running at him he blocked those attacks (training after all started to payoff) and hit his enemy with relentless force giant warrior still was standing with gigantic maul in his hands like waiting when not one of his mans were left standing. After some time Only Alder was left standing with some cuts and giant warrior with a maul “Well human… You are indeed impressive not a single avvar could take you!” he looked at Alder bleeding from his minor cuts “But now you stand against me” Alder breathed in and Breathed out slowly and stand against his enemy. Is his mind suddenly images from the fight with damn dragon flashed in his head probably Mire doing he spent too much time in here air was thin. he lost his guard griping slightly too his head trying to push away the memories that plagued him but that was all his enemy hit him he lost sight his ribs were hit with a damn maul he stumble backwards blood from his mouth dripping on the ground he felt that the air became to hard to keep in his lungs probably lung was damaged. Alder stood against his enemy and blocked his next incoming attack “ Too bad I need to kill you… You killed my brothers” Alder laughed at that he stepped back and let maul to hit the ground he found the opening and tried to hit avvar but he felt something moving from behind it was too late to block incoming arrow it hilted Alders shoulder, he felt blood dripping from the wound he took hold of arrow and pulled it from his new wound, hissing a little bit but still standing. Avvar was standing too observed situation and then in that moment rift opened and demons were sent from the fade. That explains thin air and memories rifts tend to do that avvar and Alder now faced common enemy. At last they stopped fighting among each other after one more round of monsters were taken down Alder slightly stumbled he was losing blood his lung damaged at best and ribs broken he needed to get away from this place if he wanted to live but he couldn’t at the same point if he turned his back started to stumble back to camp he would die from dead or from blood loss or worse his enemy would take advantage at this point. “So human what are you doing here why did you came?” “I was sent to find soldiers that went missing those men I know them they are my comrades!” avvar glanced at him “We took your men, they are safe for now, and my leader wants to send message to the Herald of Andraste” Alder looked at him intensely “So I will let you live for now. Go and bring message to your leader” Alder smiled “You will regret this or should I say your leader will regret… but very well I will send message” he whistled and dark crow showed up Alder quickly wrote message as avvar instructed him how his leader wanted message to sound and send crow in the camp. After a moment or two of fighting and resting (resting for Alder became more frequent he felt sleepy and drifted away more and more) the form of the soldiers and too well known forms appeared: Iron bull with horns, Blackwall keeping his posture Sera smaller and with that bow, also were she was the Herald with her battleaxe. One soldier was started running near Alder he saw her again it was Allis she knelt near him with sad eyes at him then throw angry look at avvar “Don’t worry…” Alder needed air but it was harder to breathe he cough and blood dripped in his hand as he tried to cover his coughing “Don’t speak…please…don’t… I will not lose you I will not…” she shook her head other soldiers were watching as the Herald closed rift the fight was over Alder looked at Allis again “That avvar was helping me to…” He cough harder this time it was getting dark in his eyes as he drifted away again he felt Allis arms holding him “fend of the dead and demons…” he said closing his eyes and leaning towards Allis he was losing consciousness. Last words before Alder blacked out was to Allis “I am sorry….” Then - nothing.  
He was warm in the tent and near him…”Allis?” Alder said voice tired and weak “Alder I… You idiot you could have died… Do you think at least a bit?” she was angry. She was angry and at the same time relieved that her friend survived. Alder looked at her and gave her smile soft smile “I am sorry… I made you worry” Allis looked at him no longer angry but he wasn’t able to catch her eyes they were turned away from him she was thinking at the same time she was here and the next she wasn’t “I already lost my brother I don’t want to lose friend to” she said her voice sad. He tried to sat down and comfort her but at the attempt to do that he winced from pain in his ribs. She immediately put her hand on his shoulder and slowly louvered him down again. She kept her gaze at his eyes while she did that he found it was hard to break that gaze he felt as she slowly started leaning at him it as she slowly put her lips at his and started to kiss him she was kissing him her lips parted and he let her kiss him deeper. Slowly they became more than friends. When they parted from the loss of air in their lungs Alder smiled “Maybe I should get wounded more often…” “If you try I will kill you” Allis immediately replied knitting her eyebrows in angry look he then kissed her again to ease her tension after that she was smiling. This moment only this moment is happy one that might block out bad memories of… night and darkness. Allis laded near him on the bedroll in the tent and hold his one hand in hers both “You know my brother wrote about you a lot…” she said peaking Alders attention “At first I didn’t understood why he would be friend with such an asshole like you.” She looked at him with tender eyes “But now I see why “ she trailed her fingers through his cheek and smiled “You are sad person, you might be smiling but your eyes somewhere else your eyes sad full of pain” she looked at him with tender and probably what looked like caring “only your brother and some other people knew why it’s like that… he understood” Alder looked at her sadness visible in his eyes Allis put her arm on his wounded side and comforted him or at least tried to do that “Maybe one day you will tell me why it is” she smiled at him knowing and understanding “Maybe one day…” He said and started to drift back to sleep. He felt her hands still rubbing his wounded ribs but it felt good comforting. He never expected to fell in love on the almost first sight but it looked like it was just it. Next morning he woken up at the noise in the camp, guess what Herald come back again victorious and for most one of the avvar was accompanying now the same he fought with and fought side by side Allis was woken up to she looked at him warmly trailed him. He tried to get out of his bedroll but his wounds made it difficult immediately Allis was at his side worried “You should rest more” she complained “I can’t after all I need to look over the camp” He tried to stand up this action now cost a lot of his energy if he was just ordinary soldier he would rest more but now he can’t do that… so much work ahead. Now he was standing on his feet bare back only bandage rapping his ribs and wound over his arm where arrow hit there where large scar from his childhood when blight… it was visible big and old Allis looked at it intensely, almost wanting to ask about it. Alder tried to put his armor on but it was hard he was struggling a lot after some time and little help from Allis he managed to put it on and went outside to greet Evelyn. Herald as always were polite smiling at soldiers and then she saw Alder and Allis walking toward her she turned to greet them “I see you feeling better Alder… But you shouldn’t push yourself to much… still looking a bit pale… I will take command from her lieutenant!” Alder looked at her and nodded in agreement Allis looked like she relaxed a little bit and leaned closer Alder that they arms were touching not visibly. Evelyn noticed that and smiled “Well now I will leave you to it “ she nodded and walked away leaving them both “You think she noticed?” Allis looked at him “I would be amazed if she didn’t” Allis slightly pushed Alder playfully but it only caused him to wince a bit from slight pain “I am sorry… I didn’t –“ he stopped her apology with tender kiss that left her breathless.  
5 weeks later – Haven  
Whenever he walked in the training ground he saw her training. He felt her staring at him, but he couldn’t glance back he needed to concentrate and work commander usually gave lots of work to his lieutenants. And when he took his work and gave reports to commander he allowed himself short look to Allis and at that time she would caught his gaze blush and misstep or forget what she was doing and just keep staring at him he would smile and shook his head while commander would start ranting but not that much ranting where heard from him as usually his gaze would follow Evelyn Trevelyan. After training Allis would often found him in his little room working or laying on his table sleeping. She would usually help him get to bed as they shared his as she was fond of saying “it’s better than sleeping in recruits tents”. She would help him drift to sleep, avoid his nightmares of the blight… he still didn’t told her full story he didn’t want to relive that again but he knew one day he will have to do that again tell her his story in the mean time she shared her story’s of her life of the nobleman’s daughter that they parents where benevolent and let them do with their lives what they wanted. Alder was in love with Allis repeated her that he loved her every single day and night while they lay tangled in each other arms naked in his little room. This night was different he drifted off in his slumber on the table near some boring report about task ahead. She found him hunched on the table mumbling something shivering, and shaking from fear. Allis immediately went to his side to try and woke him up and then he shouted as he woke up shivering from fear and from the effect dream had. She placed her hand in his hair and brushed it slightly whispering soothing words to him as he leaned to her. She helped him get out of his armor and helped him to lay in bed, shortly after she join him to. He was still shivering Allis wrapped around his waist “Do you want to talk about what happened to you?” he looked at her I still with fear but then “It’s only fair to tell you this” Alder said, and told her his full story all the time she was comforting him and looking with loving eyes. When he finished she hold him tight not letting him to pull away even a bit, she loved him even more if it was even possible. Alder looked at her with eyes full of love. He loved her more than world and she did the same in return.


	6. Deep...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prepare box of tissues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter :)

Alder was woken by the tender kiss of his lover when she backed away a little to let him speak, he looked at her, touched her cheek “You are my miracle” he said Allis looked at him – smiled – kissed his cheek “you need to get up, commander will kill you if you spend time in your bed all day” she smiled.   
Alder slowly rose from his bed and sat down to put his clothes and armor there where work waiting for him and for her training. He heard some rumors floating: about him and Allis also about Commander Cullen and Evelyn Trevelyan. Some soldiers even laughed about this believing it was strange paring. Alder walked out from his tent and was greeted with cold water bucket, he wiped water from his face knowing that this was elf’s doing “I tough that last time we declared peace!” Sera laughed “I didn you did” she laughed and ran away. Allis went outside to see what this ruckus was about, she saw Alder all wet from head to those and couldn’t keep her laugh “Well I didn’t thought you will take shower outside!” “ I… well… stuff happens” he couldn’t keep smile back. While they were enjoying this short moment Evelyn Trevelyan approached holding Sera “I apologize for this… little elf behavior” she looked down at Sera “She apologizes to…” she looked down at elf, who was trying to free herself, with look that even lion would be jealous of. Sera the turned to Alder (didn’t want to meet that gaze) and said “ok ok I am sorry…” then turned to Herald “happy now “youre ladybits” “ Herald let her go and turned to Alder “What is it with you both” Alder laughed “I don’t know she just draw target on my back” Allis looked at him with warm smile and said “You need to change your clothes or you surely will catch cold” she said actually caring for his health and wellbeing. Alder didn’t had pleasure of that feeling in a long time but since one person who would care who would love him… he felt better and better each day his past left behind him his crimes and revenge to… “I will stall back commander go prepare yourself” Herald spoke as she turned to walk away with smile knowing that her friend had changed from the first time she met him from criminal to someone respected and even feared by some…  
Allis was training while Alder listened to his new command Rylen and Harding hadn’t come back yet so he was alone with a new task at hand Herald and commander were at the war room with others Alder was late for the meeting (Sera’s fault). When he entered commander spoke to him “We were waiting for you… Now since you hear I will sent you with Herald and small team of soldiers to attract less attention” Herald then spoke “While I were in Hinterlands my team found entrance into the deep roads used by carta to deliver red lyrium”. Commander “since we don’t know what’s in there we only be sending our best… I mean Herald inner circle: Blackwall - since he’s grey warden; Solas – mage; and Varric – rouge. “Commander explained “soldiers are already preparing for the journey… So should you Alder” commander explained task find where red lyrium and destroy it shut the entrance in the deep rodes – because creatures. Alder went to prepare for his journey, he hated this plan if the deep rodes were home of darkspawn… well then he needed to look eye in his fear. They k new… leaders knew about his fear… but someone needed to lead soldiers it couldn’t be commander he needed to lead an army not small group and he would definitely attract much more attention. Other lieutenants didn’t get back yet from other missions only Alder was left of high ranking officers. Not long after commander caught up with him outside “Alder if you can’t do this I will understand I can go to do this task you don’t …” “Commander I can do this” this only one trip he had done more dangerous things. “As you wish Alder… good luck my friend” “you too” strange how Alder manage to change, find friends family at first he thought that was impossible to him, but now… He felt Allis wrapped around his arm and led him to the tavern Cullen was coming to, shortly Evelyn joined in. When they entered chargers were making mess Bull challenged some poor soldiers into drinking challenge. Allis was near him smiling all the time sitting near him, she didn’t mind gossip as much as Alder. They sat and drank almost all night.   
Next morning Alder were preparing and informing soldiers then he saw familiar figure among them… She was assign in this mission to… Not long after Herald showed up soldiers greet her appropriately except Alder he never liked it and this little thing always made Evelyn smile “Well… you never going to greet me like Herald… Do you?” “nope I don’t think so” Alder smiled back Evelyn shook her head and smiled as if it was some good joke. Alder looked at the soldiers again finding his lover eyes and commanded them to march.  
When they reached entrance to the carta hideout it was getting dark. It was only reasonable to make a camp. Soldiers and Herald with her circle sat down near fire and shared stories, but Alder was walking around looking at the sky and praying to whoever is there – not to encounter darkspawn – the nightmare of his childhood. Allis noticed him – missing rose from her seat and went to find him. He was near old tree as she approached him from the back and putted her small hand on his shoulder he caught her eyes and smiled as she came ever closer to him and pressed for the kiss that took his breath away. He didn’t wait long Alder pressed Allis to the tree and kissed her passionately pressing as close as he could wanting to take her now. But voices from the camp interrupted them and Allis took his hand leading him back to camp he followed her obediently. Everybody laughed then they turned up Varric smiled and said “I told yea all that she would manage to bring him back!!” some of the people gave money to Varric while Alder looked at him in disbelief “you made bet over us” “Yeah chuckle… you are very predictable” Varric responded and Evelyn laughed after some time Allis joined her and then everyone else to Alder sat down still shocked at dwarf behavior “am I that predictable?” “Sorry love you are” Allis answered his question “I am shocked” he said sarcastically. Everyone was laughing some soldiers watched him in disbelief - he managed to joke a bit, Alder was high ranking soldier – Lieutenant, but perhaps a human to. Allis leaned at his shoulder – they sat at the ground near fire hugging each other leaning at each other.   
Night passed and morning brake so did the work. Team entered hideout soldiers stud bravely guard up ready for almost anything. Leaders walked first Alder commanded soldiers behind him leaving 2 mages and 3 healers at the team end and front warriors in the middle between leaders and mages. They destroyed lyrium in the carta hideout at the upper floors now only to find were doors to the deep roads are (Evelyn had encountered darkspawn last time). Alder hated this part of the job – his memories didn’t help him. He stayed near grey warden Blackwall and for the most important thing he stayed on guard. Blackwall probably knew that he gave strength to him and didn’t mind him. Suddenly the creak at the large door was heard Alder commanded his soldiers to stay back a bit and get ready while he and Blackwall stepped forward to check it out. Blackwall stood against the wall and Alder slowly moved to open the door… Creak at the door and strong sound of breaking rock… door and the wall was broken by giant bull looking darkspawn that thrown back Alder and Blackwall from the door and cliff he felt falling as he heard Evelyn and others shouting. Blackwall had lost consciousness wound on his head he probably got the worst of it. Alder quickly pulled rope (he usually took some ropes in his travel ready for anything) tied it on his dagger and throw him up he hit the mark as he and Blackwall who’s limb body was in his arms stopped falling deeper “Damn it!!! Woke up!” it was hard to hold him and hard to stay like this up there – there were fighting to be heard. He stayed like that his arm on the rope started to slip and rope burned his skin he tried to hold a little harder. But it was too hard to hold on while his one hand was burning and other hand was holding his teammate. Alder looked down to see that there were long way down and rope was too short for it he saw cliff on the wall with some other doors he started to slowly move down near that cliff when he reached he placed Blackwall’s body first and then he felt the ground beneath his feat he wasn’t injured worst still came to warden they were thrown back from the damage of the wall or something like that but darkspawn didn’t touched them for now at least… one thing important why this warden didn’t sensed darkspawn isn’t wardens supposed to do that he will need to ask him that. He heard Evelyn’s vice “Blackwall Alder are you two ok!!!” he needed to reply “I am ok, Blackwall is wounded though!!!” that seemed to stir something behind the door “SHIT!!!” time to fight – Alder thought placed warden’s body near the rock and stood up to fight whatever were coming. Soon darkspawn broke through the door that’s where he saw entrance into the deep roads “FOUND IT!!!” he said raiding his head for a moment up than down and went to greet his enemy, from above he heard voice shouting something like “well shit!!” in familiar tone, Varric. He came near giant darkspawn and looked at him he prepared to fight him as thing moved towards him ran towards him with blood dripping from him Alder stood near the cliff he moved away the last minute stood up again on the ground with jump and ran into the group - he needed to protect others and seal entrance - he didn’t knew if there were possibility to go up from here but darkspawn probably could climb damn wall or whatever construction that was. Blackwall was of no use he was still lost Alder fought and fought with the damn swords and creatures were coming back he got closer and closer to the entrance and then he was in the roads. At some old dwarf words long ago while he was still wandering and doing odd jobs he heard that big dwarf cities had some mechanic doors there were supposed to be one here. If only he could get through creatures… now… or…never familiar voices was close so there were entrance up but now things looked bad he couldn’t risk them all. He fought and fought when he saw ice come it was Solas spell he favored ice spells and he felt relieved as he saw Evelyn and others join him in the fight “we need to shut the damn doors!” Alder shouted soldiers looked at him and Herald like they were some kind of beacon of light “Its impossible we need to get back!” Solas shouted Varric nodded in agreement and disbelief “If we fall back they will follow us in the surface and innocent people will die!” Alder looked at elf that stood defending others healers were working at Blackwall’s wounds Solas came closer to him “If we want to make it someone will…” “have to stay” Alder finished “and close it “ he lowered his head saw terror in his soldiers eyes Evelyn putted cold face she couldn’t show emotion. Alder moved closer to Allis who was defending mages he came to her and kissed her as saying farewell “You…no…we will find a way…” “we will not this is the only way” he pressed his forehead to hers and the words stuck in his throat he then backed away “Clear the way!!!” he commanded his soldiers and readied himself “NO!!” Allis shouted and tried to move closer to him stop him but he commanded other soldier to hold her “Allis” he said calm “My story was never meant to end happily… but yours… live well my love” he said and run into the darkspawn ready to make it he felt as they weapons and teeth hit his skin as his armor failed and his arms bones broke but he managed to get to the and shoot it close that nothing would get past it and then all enemy force was thrown at him he felt taint run through his veins were there no chance for him to survive so he stood up one last time thinking about his love, his Allis and turned to greet enemy one last time and then nothing. Blood was everywhere it was his and darkspawn blood Alder lay down dead on the ground as Allis approached him and fell on her knees near him Varric was calming her down Solas looked with respect at Alder and Evelyn was commanding soldiers that were eyther wounded from the fight or in shock it was over one man had saved them all and now h was gone and his Allis were crying over for him feeling loss that was pushed back before because of love but now nothing could help her she was alone.  
When soldiers went back news already was here Sera was near trying not to cry she was soft when she wanted Allis was comforted by others but that didn’t mattered to her. When she entered his tent she found letter addressed to her by him   
My love, Allis  
I have new task ahead me and my soldiers will be marching into dangerous place where carta was digging red lyrium. Don’t be angry that I forgot to tell you about this. I don’t want to make you worry… Damn it’s hard for me to write… Did I write this? I meant to tell you how much I love you and that you and you alone are my beacon of light   
Love Alder,  
She smiled at the letter it felt like he was still here but… he was gone “my story was never meant to be happy one” he said something like that to her it was his last words. She sat on the bed and hunched cried her tears out and went to deep slumber feeling ache in the chest as something where missing. The life for her will never be the same.  
Epilogue  
Evelyn sat in the little spot near the lake or little river she didn’t know. Cullen walked near her and sat down with her all the while looking somewhere “he didn’t have to do that he could have ordered someone else to do that…” she looked at Cullen her eyes full of tears “He saved us all… I only…could watch” Cullen put his hand on hers shoulder she found it comforting “you didn’t just watched… you helped them you led them out… you helped them… “ Cullen tried to comfort her also tried to find comfort for himself after all he sent him to his death. They both where sitting there as Evelyn spoke again “Solas told us that we needed to hold back we had no chance there were so many, but if we had runned they would have killed slower of us… and then would have spread to nearby villages and killed people…” she couldn’t finished as tears dripped again on her cheeks she felt so comfortable around Cullen and for most important save “Alder was a hero, and he will be remembered as such… not as thief Crow” Cullen said that while standing up. He helped her to stand up put too much strength at the pull and she was near him holding her hands against his chest she looked at his amber eyes and he looked at hers….

**Author's Note:**

> brace yourself for bad grammar :D


End file.
